im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
