yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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