so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
