No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
