no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
