She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I will pee on everything he values.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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