just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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