he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
