was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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