just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
