You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
