I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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