And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
