I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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