I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
thus making me awesome and them whores
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize