thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
