Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This girl is more easily done than said...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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