soooo we both peed the bed last night...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
