It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
