What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
