Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
