What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
