They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
