Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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