You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
