Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
