what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
