moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
