So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
