Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
