Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
