Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
