just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
