we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need a beard to bite.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize