wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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