She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
