I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
