so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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