I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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