I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
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