It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
