even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
