Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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