i think my mom watched the whole time
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
