Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
