just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
