I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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