Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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