Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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