He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
