He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
