...so i touched it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
