I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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