her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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