you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
