You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
