sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
