Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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