So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
